Tuesday, 20 July 2010

God Save Us All From Corporate Jargon!

Crikey, I've been sitting here trying to re-write a jobspec from Corporate Claptrap into English.

I'm alternating between trying hard to do it, and rebelling and throwing my toys out of the pram. Why do people find the need to hide meaning in pointless wording? Well, it's to try to look smart or to fit in, I guess and frankly - I despise it. Anyone playing this game does not have the confidence to speak clearly, and that's concerning.

Check this out:
Lead on development of Personalisation agenda within the above and ensure effective skill training programme introduced for all operational staff across services.
Grammatical errors aside, I think - AND I HONESTY CAN'T BE SURE - it means that this (management) person should:
distribute elements of the corporate agenda to the team members, making sure they also get trained as needed.

So why not say so?!

Here's another chunk of guff:
Support the continuous development of quality monitoring and effective outcomes in conjunction with the management team to provide effective reporting and income generating tools.

I think, but again, I'm not completely sure, that it means:
With the management team, measure, report and improve the quality of what we do.

Jesus H. Carrumba, get me some Earl Grey Tea, and don't spare the lemon!

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